Our hospital stay

Lindsay is with the two grandmas right now, so I thought this was a perfect time to finish up our hospital post. When I last left a post, it finished with me wanting to slap the front desk attendant. Not exactly the start I was hoping for and I'm sure this was making Kevin pretty nervous. Well, turns out I wasn't quite as big a crabbypants as I figured I'd be.

Our admitting started out with me discovering that any hope for a somewhat "discreet" stay (ie, keeping my lady parts at least partially under wraps) was not going to happen. Gown on, legs open and discretion gone. I was dilated 5cm already when I was admitted, so we were fairly far along already. My contractions were pretty unbearable by this point and the epidural wouldn't be able to be done for an hour (some major surgery was happening and that patient rudely was hogging the anesthesiologist), so they first gave me a shot of something to "knock the edge off." That worked okay, at least making the next hour something I could handle. Contrary to an apparent tough exterior I show, I am a big wussy and I really, really needed my drugs.

My savior showed up about 7am bearing the epidural. He went over the risks with me and I told him I didn't care if my legs fell off....just give me the drugs. Once the epidural kicked in, I was homefree for a couple hours. And I apparently thought I was participating in open-mic night. I came up with such classic one-liners as: "I've never eaten crackers in bed before" (upon scarfing down a few saltines while laying in the bed) and "I like dogs" (upon hearing that there was a board showing all the dogs of the labor and delivery nurses). Kevin said I was all over the place with my thoughts...I guess I shouldn't plan on getting addicted to painkillers. I really don't have much recollection other than saying everything that passed through my head and then 30 seconds later wondering why on earth I'd say something so stupid.

We met our doctor a little later. She was like a damp towel...ruined all our fun. The labor nurses and I were having our improv routine and she didn't really get it. At one point, the nurse said something about at least we didn't have to have our regular doc deliver because he was awful...and we were laughing about that and the new doc said, "Are you making a joke?"....not understanding sarcasm apparently. Not exactly my kind of personality.

By 9am I was dilated 10cm and they shut the epidural off....it was go time. I started pushing at 9:30am and although I thought Kevin would be an innocent bystander somewhere north of the Mendoza line, the nurse told him to grab a leg and they'd give us a chance to "practice" pushing. A nurse on one leg, Kevin on the other and away we went.

Make no mistake. Pushing is exhausting. Because of the epidural, the pain was more pressure-like than excruciatingly painful, but the act of pushing took me to the limit of exhaustion. At each contraction, I would push for three 10-second intervals....or so I was told. My nurse made sure that she counted backwards extra slow for those 10 seconds, sometimes even deciding not to count. How wonderful. Each span of pushing felt like it took an hour....when in reality it was only about 60 to 90 seconds.

Well, sparing everyone the more gruesome details, our little bundle of joy arrived at 10:31am on 7/7/09 (the nurse said she hoped I would hold out until 7/8/09...thank God I didn't). And I made it through the experience without yelling at Kevin even a single time, which is practically a miracle since I can usually find something to yell at him about at any moment (I'm not exactly the easiest person to live with). He was awesome and did a great job...and I think I did alright as well. And really, other than one nurse who apparently thought I was trying to bogart the pain meds, our stay was relatively uneventful (until we were leaving and tried to "steal" our own baby by not remembering to get the security tag taken off and set the floor alarms off).

Thanks to all those who called, texted, emailed and stopped by. We really appreciate it. As for Lindsay, she has been a very good baby so far. We couldn't be happier....although it has only been a couple days of having to get up at night! Get back to us in a couple weeks. ;)

I'll leave you with a pic from our first day home....LaFawnduh has taken on quite the protective role.