Parental failings...

Worst mom of the year award goes to me. I didn't make sure Lindsay got a picture with Santa Clause and I didn't even get a picture of her with Daddy and I on Christmas! And don't even talk to me about whether I got a picture of her in her Christmas dress...that would be another no.

Really, Mary? You carry that damn camera around with you 24/7 and you can't even get the simplest of shots? I may as well pack it up....call it quits. Don't worry, Lindsay, I'll have 8 million pictures of you looking like Yoda with the dogs licking your face, but not a single shot of your high school graduation.

Case in point -- here's an example of 2 pictures we took on Christmas Eve:

Haha...so funny, right! She's boozing and playing cards...it's like we are in Vegas! Aunt Vawnita even said she's "getting a reputation." Looks like our master plan is working!

And then you get home and look through the camera and realize that you didn't get a single normal Christmas shot of your beautiful little girl that you can actually use to show the child protection workers that she isn't actually being fed booze and cigarettes.

But alas...she's never going to know because we are going to recreate the scene on New Year's Eve. Same dress and hopefully our friends still have some Christmas decorations up so we can throw her in front of them, take a picture and forever pretend it was the real thing!

I guess that will make us liars....yet another thing we've failed at. ;)

Eye of the tiger....

...it's the thrill of the fight!


So today our resident punk got into her first daycare scrap. And based on the retelling of the story, not only did our baby girl not cry afterwards, she yelled at the bully and did a little fist-swinging of her own.

I have to say, I'm not surprised. Lindsay has showed the tendencies of being a little like Muhammad Ali since she was born...the kid's fists are ALWAYS clenched. I guarantee she'll never be caught offguard.

And she also has some pretty impressive escapability skills.

With all that hard work, she also often cashes out like she's just been in a championship fight.

In the interest of full disclosure, she didn't actually get popped by a kid at daycare...the poor guy just tripped on his blanket and fell into her. But apparently she actually didn't cry...just yelled in the little boy's ear until he got back up. That's my girl...one tough cookie.

I'll leave you with the best moment of my birthday...

Love is in the air...

I'm clearly not cut out for this parenting stuff. Don't get me wrong, I love it. However, this kid just keeps growing up too fast! Everyday seems like something new and it becomes this constant reminder of how she'll basically be graduating tomorrow.

Since we last chatted, she's become a little more mobile. I guess I should say she's taken her first step towards mobility...you can't really be more mobile if you weren't in the first place, I suppose. Anyway, she has learned how to roll from her stomach to her back! Of course, she first pulled off this major feat while neither mom and dad were in the room...which means the rest of her evening turned into a game of "keep her on her stomach until we see her roll over" which went a little something like this:

Mary: "Come on honey! You can do it!"

Kevin: "Who's a big girl?"

Mary: "Just tuck that arm...ah...yeah...ah..."

Kevin: "Almost! Just roll!"

Eventually she pulled it off and we all cheered, which scared her and she started screaming. We really are pros.

The next day was her first Halloween party/birthday party. We were back in WC for cousin Kyle's 1st birthday party and Lindsay was excited to celebrate with a cow and a cowboy...dressed as an apparently very French pumpkin ("Ah, oui oui"):

She's also now discovering her hands and mouth...often choosing to use them together, which has created a never-ending stream of drool:

Next on the list of newfound skills is her first bowl of cereal! Our first night of rice cereal was quite the production...and in all honesty, a week into it, it isn't much better yet.

Watching her try to suck on the spoon like it is a bottle is pretty funny. What isn't as funny is watching her spit out pretty much all the cereal that has already been in her mouth. Maybe she isn't so grow up afterall?

Maybe the the most grown-up thing she's done so far is her first date. I know...I'm as surprised as you....I thought this day was a long, long time away too. But luckily she was fine with allowing me to supervise. Her and the young man decided to hang at home and catch the newest episode of Dora with some Teddy Grahams and milk...pretty smooth first date if you ask me. I wasn't all that impressed with them insisting on sharing a chair and the young man showing up in his pajamas, but I made sure they maintained a safe distance between each other. No hanky panky on my watch.

Not sure of the status of the relationship as they haven't had a second date yet, but I must say I'm kind of pulling for the kid since he helped me with some chores before heading home for the evening. Your move, Evan...your move.

A month? Really?

Holy smokes! Can't believe it has already been a month since I last posted....shameful. I've been a very bad blogger. Trying to get into a routine has been a difficult task for me and is the excuse I'll use this time. To all my loyal readers (okay, reader...thanks Mom!), I will try to keep this updated much more often.

Anyway, onto the star of the show. It has now been 3 months since Lindsay joined us...I can't believe it has already been that long! Lindsay has been great since our last post. She sleeps through the night every night. In fact, I can't remember the last time she woke up in the middle of the night (jinx, I'm sure). Even better than that is that she is now smiling all the time! From the time I wake her up in the morning to when she goes to bed, it seems we can get smiles on command -- except when we are trying to get a picture of it. But we have been able to get a couple. Here's her doing her best Chris Farley impression(think "Fat Guy in a Little Coat"):

And here's her getting ready for Daddy's 30th birthday party:

She's really seemed to settle in nicely. In fact, she's already taken up some of my favorite activities. Relaxing in the chair...

...wishing Dad would stop making silly jokes...

...watching our puppies play...

...and enjoying a good party....

Don't worry...that is salami...not a PBR.

All in all, things are going pretty good. Just plugging along, enjoying life. I will say that I've been impressed with Lindsay's expressions and faces she makes. Kevin has taken to calling one of her faces her "Yoda" face. When she makes it, he'll talk in his best Yoda voice and say something like "go to bed, would you like?" That is usually good for one or two laughs a day. Even harder than catching her smiling is catching her in her Yoda look...until a couple days ago when I got the perfect picture of it...including her ears sticking way out (why did that have to be the ONE thing she inherited from me?). With the ears and the way her face thins out below her chunky cheeks, I have to admit, she does show some similarities to Yoda. Poor girl.

Hopefully that look doesn't stick around too long...or she'll have a tough go of it through middle school. We probably can worry about that later though.

Happy Fall, everyone....until next time, be well!

WHAT a weekend!

This past weekend was a big one for Lindsay -- what I'm sure will be the first of many, she went to her first college party! Not technically, I suppose -- there wasn't a keg or any togas involved -- but it was a party and we were on campus. Uncle Ryan and I took Lindsay down to the opening of The Bank -- the Gopher's fancy new stadium. To help her fit in a little better, I decided to put her in her tye-dye shirt -- all the hippies loved her!

Along with everyone else, we were VERY impressed with the new home of the Gophers.

Quite the day! We got to campus around 4:00 and didn't get back home until 11:30 -- namely because Uncle Ryan and I got lost on the campus looking for our car.

Sunday was the season opener for our beloved Vikings, so we had Aunt Lindsay and Uncle Jeremy over...and Evan, of course. They were nice enough to let us borrow Evan's chair and Lindsay has fallen in love with it! This is her watching football that afternoon...she is so chill in it. Like she's been doing it all her life!

Then, of course, Sunday night were the VMA's on MTV! In case anyone was wondering, yes, I do still watch MTV. And I love, love, love the VMA's. So, Lindsay and I watched them together. Like everyone else that watched, she had quite the range of emotions. This is her during Michael Jackson's tribute (the dance portion, not dumb Madonna's speech):

She's a big fan of Michael. Afterall, I love him and the two of them are undeniably linked -- she was born on the day of his funeral. That was the first thing she watched on TV with me. Of course, the good vibes were quickly ruined by Kanye and his jackassy ways -- she just couldn't believe what was happening:

And just in case anybody was doubting exactly how weird Lady Gaga could be, she reminded us repeatedly throughout the broadcast. Lindsay certainly was not impressed with the wardrobe changes and disturbing freakshow she put on:

And lastly, maybe she was just tired from a long weekend, but I like to think this shows how unimpressed she is with Russell Brand's humor:

The First of Many

Anyone that knows us knows that we are HUGE Vikings fans. I guess I wouldn't even say we are fans...we are obsessive...like the sports version of "Hand that Rocks the Cradle"...without the stealing of the family thing. Stalker-ish, some would say. So it would only makes sense that we would be trying to force the team upon our first-born child. FYI...the same goes for the Twins and for me, the Lakers, so this could be a recurring theme.

Part of the obsession is going to games. During the regular season, we get up early and tailgate the entire morning until the game starts. In fact, I get up earlier on Sundays to tailgate than I do on workdays. Tailgating is one of the few things in this world that can get me up before 8am.

Anyway, the point of the rambling, is that we decided to drag our 8-week old to the Vikings preseason game this week. We need her to understand early on the importance of the 4th preseason game for an NFL team. That is where you build the depth of your team. So we needed her to see the Darius Reynaud's and Letroy Guion's of the world try to make their mark and stick with the team. Never too early to teach a lesson about hardwork and perseverence.

Now taking an 8-week old to a building with 50,000 screaming people is a little scary, so we prepared in advance...we bought some airport-runway-style headphones to cut out the noise. Let me tell you...I've seen people put kids in some pretty funny-looking gear, but these take the cake. Huge, protruding, hot-pink headphones. And it turns out she likes them:

No screaming or anything! What a trooper!

We spent the entire 2nd quarter and halftime just laughing, smiling and chattering away between the 3 of us. Incidentally, that behavior is similar to how Kevin and I spent Vikings game pre-baby....minus the baby and the laughing and the smiling and the chattering with a little more drinking, swearing and yelling.

Turns out Lindsay wasn't quite as interested in the play of the potential 3rd string safeties and offensive lineman as us....this is her in the 3rd quarter:

Not quite the attention to team depth that we had hoped she'd have. Overall, however, I'd say she did quite well! And, she was quite the attraction...people seemed pretty interested in the pretty, young gal in the Baby Bjorn with the Vikes gear and hot-pink headphones.

I will say that she picked a good game to go to...a great initiation to the eternal disappointment that comes along with being a Vikes fan. An end of game loss featuring a fluke punt return for a TD by the Cowboys and a last second failure by the Vikes offense to score in the redzone. Don't worry -- we consoled her by explaining it was only a preseason game and it doesn't matter. But we did impress upon her the need to be prepared for a lifetime of similar defeats in games big and small when it comes to the Vikings.

But for the time being, we'll consider it a successful outing for the Best family. We had a great time and I'm sure this picture will be taken over and over again in our lifetime...only with a bigger Lindsay each time it is taken.

Moving on up!

...to the east side...to a dee-lux apartment in the sky.

Well, not really the east side or a deluxe apartment or the sky. But it sure feels like a big move. Up to this point, our little girl has been sleeping in a bassinet in our bedroom. Small, low to the ground and most importantly, in our bedroom, close to mommy.

Well, the time has come to move her into her crib. Her big, high, lonely crib.

I am definitely not adjusting too well to not having her right next to me, but she made it a little easier on me by sleeping for over 7 hours on her first night in her very own room. I suppose it is a good thing she is sleeping in there. After all, I spent all that time painting it and we have all the furniture, but it is just the first sign of many that she is growing up...and already too fast for me!

Fortunately, Daddy made it easier on both of us (well, mainly me) by dropping her off in bed with me when he left for work this morning. So we got a little time to snuggle and chat before getting up...LaFawnduh and Kip really liked our time in bed all together. Yeah...that's it. It was for LaFawnduh and Kip's benefit that I stayed in there so long!

I've completely cashed out both nights she has been in her crib, so I guess that is good. However, all I can picture is her getting too big for her crib and so on and so on. I suppose this is the first of many points where I need to slow down and take a deep breath and realize progress is a good thing. However, my little baby isn't such a little baby anymore. :(

A week of firsts...

Lindsay has had quite a few new experiences in the past 7-10 days. So here's our diary of those.

She had her first car ride of over an hour....up to Braham, MN for Pie Day (Mommy's first Pie Day as well!....that's Lindsay in the background in the stroller....she slept the entire rainy day away).

Her first time of actually staying awake at a kickball game...we lost in the semifinals of the tourney...she also met her first puppy at the game. This is the puppy...not Lindsay. ;)

Her first trip to Vikings training camp in Mankato. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on whether sleep or seeing practice is more important to you), she decided to sleep in that morning, so we got there right at the end of practice and didn't see too much. Antoine Winfield and Adrian Peterson have the early lead as her favorite player though...

Her first pair of jeans...now Lindsay and Mommy can dress alike!

Her first wedding....and first dress (and Mommy's first dress since her own wedding)...it's that dress alike thing kicking in apparently. She also had her first trip to the mall to help Mommy buy a new dress.

Lastly, she also had her first trip to Daddy's clinic to visit him at work (and show herself off to Daddy's co-workers). What happened after that visit was a first for the whole Best family. As we left the clinic together to head over to a barbeque with some friends, Lindsay and I loaded up in our Explorer and Kevin went to get into his car. Unfortunately, this is what he found in his parking spot.

We looked and looked and nothing. No Honda Civic to be found. It wasn't towed...we asked. So, there's really only one option left at this point. Kevin's car was stolen. A phone call to the police and there we were, back out in the parking lot waiting. As we discussed how ballsy it was to steal a car in broad daylight from outside a clinic where people are constantly coming and going, it occured to us that one other thing makes the crime particularly ballsy. Here is what is across the street from Kevin's clinic!

For those that don't know what BCA stands for....that would be the Bureau of Criminal Apprehension! I guess you have to admire the gutsy move of wanting a 1997 Honda Civic so badly that you'd pull it off right there!

As we waited for the police, the situation started to sink in...at least for Kevin and I. I don't think Lindsay was really grasping the idea quite yet.
After 45 minutes of waiting for the police, they finally showed and proceeded to tell us in the nicest possible way that Honda's are stolen a lot and they usually are gutted out very quickly...essentially, don't keep your hopes up about us ever finding it. The only hope he held out for us was that someone needed a ride and took it for a joyride.

So we went about our business and started thinking about a new car. But then, the very next day we had a message that said, "we found your car in Hugo and it was towed to Forest Lake." Hallelujah!!!!

We called the towing place to say we were coming to get it and the guy said, "Already?" This was a tad confusing, but we of course would need our car, so we said obviously we were coming right away. When we called back to see what we needed for proof of insurance, he happened to mention "I was able to get it shut off." Come again? "Well, they jammed a key into the ignition and broke it off....it was still running when they found it in the church parking lot."

Hmmm....at this point, it doesn't seem like we are getting it back as we had hoped. And sure enough, as we pulled into the lot I said "Holy shit...there's your car." Kevin responded with, "Where?" And all I could do was point and say, "Right there...that's your car."

It wasn't exactly as we had left it.

Front tires gone and replaced with crap tires. Front quarter panels gone. Tail lights gone, truck and spoiler gone.

And just for fun, they decided to let us know who stole it...OMB....a Hmong gang in St. Paul. Thank you very much guys.

They were nice enough, however, to leave our belongings inside. Kevin's reading glasses, his sunglasses, the base to our carseat, his work bag and backpack and some clothes. They even decided to give us a screwdriver!

So, undriveable and in obvious need of some serious repairs, we decided to see if we could just leave it at the towing place and call it a day. Unfortunately, no, they didn't want it...and to top it off, we owed them $250.00 for the towing fee! Son of a....

After talking with the guy at the tow place, he said sometimes they tow cars to the fire department and donate them to the fire department to practice putting out fires on. The cost was $75.00 for the tow, but he said he'd waive the fee because he felt bad for us. I have to believe that having a newborn with us saved us from having to pay the additional $75.00...so now she is actually saving us money this week (or at least we might be breaking even after the cost of diapers and formula)!

After a few quiet words from Kevin to the Civic, he said farewell to his fallen friend. Upon getting into the car and driving off, a sentence I never thought would be uttered by Kevin...."Our car got stolen by a gang." Too funny.

After that ordeal, Lindsay got to experience car shopping and car buying! The fun never stops!

We decided that instead of "Cash for Clunkers" that maybe the President and Congress should figure out who only has liability insurance on their vehicles and get gangs or individuals to steal those cars. Not only would people be forced into buying new cars, thereby stimulating the auto industry and the economy in general, if they stole all the parts, theoretically car parts stores would see an increase in business as well! Someone get me a meeting with those in charge!

As for the week of firsts, it was quite a roller coaster...mostly good though. I sure hope that not only was it Lindsay's first stolen car experience, but her last. Even more importantly, I hope it is her first and last experience with gang life....we'll certainly be hoping going through this didn't turn her on to a life of crime and excitement!

Deuces are Wild?

A good card game? I wish. Unfortunately that phrase took on a new meaning for me last night.

I was feeding Lindsay last night about 1am and I could feel the rumblings coming from her diaper. I was very pleased with the development because that meant I could change her before she fell asleep.

So she finishes the bottle and we head over to the changing table. Blah, blah...unbutton the pj's, unbutton the onesie, open the diaper and BAM! Good poop little girl...but it is a mess! So we start cleaning up...wipes aplenty, cleaning up that brown, runny mess when I hear a little toot, followed by a quick flow of additional said brown, runny mess flowing out of her butt.

Here I am, holding her two little chicken legs in one hand to keep her butt in the air and a wipe in the other. So what do I do? Naturally, I try to put the wipe under her before the poop hits her clothes and the changing table. And that's when the deuces went wild...

Of course, the wipe didn't cover my whole hand and of course there was way too much poop to hold in the wipe...so now I have brown, runny poop all over the hand that isn't holding her legs and there is a lake of poop sitting on top of her pj's.

In the meantime, my husband (who has been sleeping for about 2 hours to the point, preparing the middle of the night feeding) peeks his head in and says "that's disgusting" and proceeds to head into the bathroom.

At this point, I'm struggling and trying to regroup. So I grab another wipe and BAM! Deuces wild AGAIN! This time, the wipe falls out of my hand and I'm left holding a handful of that damn brown, runny poop.

Not sure exactly what to do at this point, I wait for my wonderful husband knowing he'll come help me. Instead, I see him walk past the nursery and back into bed, leaving me (still) holding her two legs up with one hand and (still) holding a handful of brown, runny poop in the other. There's no way I can use my clean hand, because that would require me to lay her down in the lake of poop. After only briefly considering lifting her up by the legs and letting her dangle in the air (just kidding...don't call child protection), I dump my handful of poop into the lake of poop in her pj's and try to clean my hand...all while yelling at my husband to get his ass into the nursery.

I immediately directed him to get a scissors and by the time he gets back I have my hand clean so I can perform onesie surgery by cutting it open from the neckline down. After it is completely cut in half down the front, I can extract her from the onesie and get her moved onto a burpcloth on the floor, where she proceeds to, you guessed it, produce another wild deuce. Beautiful.

Thankfully that wild deuce was a small one and it was the last one. But that was followed by a diaper-free pee all over me and very large puke all over her...presumably from being strung up for about 3 minutes immediately after eating. By this point, Lindsay is screaming her little lungs out. Can you blame her? She just watched her mother play poop-catcher while causing her to throw up.

Eventually, I was able to get her cleaned up and changed into clean clothes. For those that can stomach it, following are the pictures of the aftermath...followed by my little sweetheart after the traumatic event...clearly she was affected.