Disgusting....

Well, I've been holding onto this post for awhile. It takes weeks to be able to vocalize (is this still considered vocalizing?) some of the disgusting things I've read about in my pregnancy books over the past month.

Now that I'm getting to the stage where I probably could legitimately give birth without too many issues, I had to move farther along in the pregnancy books. The books are typically broken down by week or month and they then have a separate chapter or section about labor and delivery. Well, let me tell you....the chapters dedicated to labor and delivery are not for the faint of stomach.

One thinks that labor is like you see in the movies. You are sitting at home or maybe even out with friends when "Oh my God! My water just broke!" A short taxi ride later and you are laying in a birthing suite doing your breathing exercises. Guess what? That isn't even close, apparently.

First, for days or maybe even a week or so before you go deliver, you have certain things to watch for. And man, do they ever have some fantastic names for these things. A couple of fun examples for you...

Apparently pregnant ladies have what is called a "mucous plug." AND IT FALLS OUT. I guess it does exactly as you would think from the name. It traps the fluids in the body until everything is getting ready to come bursting out. But come on....couldn't someone come up with a better name for it? How excited can a person really get when it does come out when you actually have to say that outloud. "Hey Kevin....I think I'm getting close. My mucous plug just fell out! Yippee!" I dare someone to say mucous plug without getting a disgusted look on your face. And if you succeed, I don't want to hang out with you anymore.

Also you have to pay attention for "bloody show" when you go to the bathroom. Again....really? That's the the best we can come up with for a name? How absolutely disgusting. And let me tell you....that's just what I want to do...track the fluids actually leaking out after the mucous plug falls out. Sounds fantastic. Slap a diaper on me and call it a day.

I couldn't possibly be more excited to pop this kid out, but my word, those two things alone make me rethink picking up a book to read about what I'm going through....let alone actually going through them. I'm not big on bodily fluids or medical jargon to begin with.....and with these names/descriptions, no one is doing a very good job of making pregnant gals feel comfortable about the process.