The Many Faces of the Baby

Getting a good picture of Lindsay has proven to take a minor miracle. The kid literally smiles non-stop, but you pull out the camera and she freezes up. Based on the early results, I don't see the second coming of Heidi Klum in this one. Adorable as she is, I fear modeling and acting may be something we already have to cross off the list.

Here's a sampling of a photo shoot we went through the other night. Her and I were sitting in the chair and she was being hilarious as usual...until the camera light went on. You will see I did eventually get the shot I was hoping for, but it was about a dozen pictures in. All I can say is god bless the invention of the digital camera. Otherwise I would need to take out a second mortgage to develop film.

I promise I didn't even feed her any booze before these...she just has a natural inebriated look to her a lot of the time.

Grabby

I don't advise "googling" the above word, but that is the only word I can use to describe the stage Lindsay is in right now. She grabs absolutely everything in reach...sometimes creating a lot of pain for the person within arms reach. Her little razorblade fingernails dig into your skin and feel like papercuts. It's the least cute thing she does. Don't get me wrong, she starts out cute....

...but check out that look in her eye. Ten seconds later she pulled his beard and scratched his face. She's sneaky abusive.And don't even get me started on eating. After being the best eater ever, now the spoon is just another toy to grab at. We used to be able to get through dinner without even putting a bib on her. But take a look at dinner from one night last week.

Take a close note of the food that is above and off to the side of her eye...we are talking some serious flinging here. And if you think that looks messy, you should see the floor, table and walls. You'd think Pollack was painting in our kitchen.

The worst part of the grabbiness is the fact that it isn't limited to when she is sitting safe and sound...she is now insistent on grabbing everything around her on the changing table too. If you look close, you'll see our new "safety first" method of changing her. I guarantee she's taking a header off that table at some point though...her little booty dances fling her all over the place.

But at least she's proud of herself after she gets ahold of the item she's reaching for...

The one thing we did learn about her new skill is that she likely would be better at grabbing fumbles than the Vikings...look at the focus on the ball. AP, come over to our house and she'll give you a lesson on holding onto things.

Of course, the above evening ended up in severe disappointment. In hindsight, I should've done what Lindsay did with about 4 minutes left in the game. I could've avoided a lot of heartbreak. She's apparently already learned that nothing good can happen when the ball is in Brett Favre's hands with the game on the line. Guess she's smarter than the rest of us fools.

As you can imagine, the mood around our house has been somber this week. Even the dog's are feeling it.

Until next time, rest those weary eyes.

Parental failings...

Worst mom of the year award goes to me. I didn't make sure Lindsay got a picture with Santa Clause and I didn't even get a picture of her with Daddy and I on Christmas! And don't even talk to me about whether I got a picture of her in her Christmas dress...that would be another no.

Really, Mary? You carry that damn camera around with you 24/7 and you can't even get the simplest of shots? I may as well pack it up....call it quits. Don't worry, Lindsay, I'll have 8 million pictures of you looking like Yoda with the dogs licking your face, but not a single shot of your high school graduation.

Case in point -- here's an example of 2 pictures we took on Christmas Eve:

Haha...so funny, right! She's boozing and playing cards...it's like we are in Vegas! Aunt Vawnita even said she's "getting a reputation." Looks like our master plan is working!

And then you get home and look through the camera and realize that you didn't get a single normal Christmas shot of your beautiful little girl that you can actually use to show the child protection workers that she isn't actually being fed booze and cigarettes.

But alas...she's never going to know because we are going to recreate the scene on New Year's Eve. Same dress and hopefully our friends still have some Christmas decorations up so we can throw her in front of them, take a picture and forever pretend it was the real thing!

I guess that will make us liars....yet another thing we've failed at. ;)

Eye of the tiger....

...it's the thrill of the fight!


So today our resident punk got into her first daycare scrap. And based on the retelling of the story, not only did our baby girl not cry afterwards, she yelled at the bully and did a little fist-swinging of her own.

I have to say, I'm not surprised. Lindsay has showed the tendencies of being a little like Muhammad Ali since she was born...the kid's fists are ALWAYS clenched. I guarantee she'll never be caught offguard.

And she also has some pretty impressive escapability skills.

With all that hard work, she also often cashes out like she's just been in a championship fight.

In the interest of full disclosure, she didn't actually get popped by a kid at daycare...the poor guy just tripped on his blanket and fell into her. But apparently she actually didn't cry...just yelled in the little boy's ear until he got back up. That's my girl...one tough cookie.

I'll leave you with the best moment of my birthday...

Love is in the air...

I'm clearly not cut out for this parenting stuff. Don't get me wrong, I love it. However, this kid just keeps growing up too fast! Everyday seems like something new and it becomes this constant reminder of how she'll basically be graduating tomorrow.

Since we last chatted, she's become a little more mobile. I guess I should say she's taken her first step towards mobility...you can't really be more mobile if you weren't in the first place, I suppose. Anyway, she has learned how to roll from her stomach to her back! Of course, she first pulled off this major feat while neither mom and dad were in the room...which means the rest of her evening turned into a game of "keep her on her stomach until we see her roll over" which went a little something like this:

Mary: "Come on honey! You can do it!"

Kevin: "Who's a big girl?"

Mary: "Just tuck that arm...ah...yeah...ah..."

Kevin: "Almost! Just roll!"

Eventually she pulled it off and we all cheered, which scared her and she started screaming. We really are pros.

The next day was her first Halloween party/birthday party. We were back in WC for cousin Kyle's 1st birthday party and Lindsay was excited to celebrate with a cow and a cowboy...dressed as an apparently very French pumpkin ("Ah, oui oui"):

She's also now discovering her hands and mouth...often choosing to use them together, which has created a never-ending stream of drool:

Next on the list of newfound skills is her first bowl of cereal! Our first night of rice cereal was quite the production...and in all honesty, a week into it, it isn't much better yet.

Watching her try to suck on the spoon like it is a bottle is pretty funny. What isn't as funny is watching her spit out pretty much all the cereal that has already been in her mouth. Maybe she isn't so grow up afterall?

Maybe the the most grown-up thing she's done so far is her first date. I know...I'm as surprised as you....I thought this day was a long, long time away too. But luckily she was fine with allowing me to supervise. Her and the young man decided to hang at home and catch the newest episode of Dora with some Teddy Grahams and milk...pretty smooth first date if you ask me. I wasn't all that impressed with them insisting on sharing a chair and the young man showing up in his pajamas, but I made sure they maintained a safe distance between each other. No hanky panky on my watch.

Not sure of the status of the relationship as they haven't had a second date yet, but I must say I'm kind of pulling for the kid since he helped me with some chores before heading home for the evening. Your move, Evan...your move.

A month? Really?

Holy smokes! Can't believe it has already been a month since I last posted....shameful. I've been a very bad blogger. Trying to get into a routine has been a difficult task for me and is the excuse I'll use this time. To all my loyal readers (okay, reader...thanks Mom!), I will try to keep this updated much more often.

Anyway, onto the star of the show. It has now been 3 months since Lindsay joined us...I can't believe it has already been that long! Lindsay has been great since our last post. She sleeps through the night every night. In fact, I can't remember the last time she woke up in the middle of the night (jinx, I'm sure). Even better than that is that she is now smiling all the time! From the time I wake her up in the morning to when she goes to bed, it seems we can get smiles on command -- except when we are trying to get a picture of it. But we have been able to get a couple. Here's her doing her best Chris Farley impression(think "Fat Guy in a Little Coat"):

And here's her getting ready for Daddy's 30th birthday party:

She's really seemed to settle in nicely. In fact, she's already taken up some of my favorite activities. Relaxing in the chair...

...wishing Dad would stop making silly jokes...

...watching our puppies play...

...and enjoying a good party....

Don't worry...that is salami...not a PBR.

All in all, things are going pretty good. Just plugging along, enjoying life. I will say that I've been impressed with Lindsay's expressions and faces she makes. Kevin has taken to calling one of her faces her "Yoda" face. When she makes it, he'll talk in his best Yoda voice and say something like "go to bed, would you like?" That is usually good for one or two laughs a day. Even harder than catching her smiling is catching her in her Yoda look...until a couple days ago when I got the perfect picture of it...including her ears sticking way out (why did that have to be the ONE thing she inherited from me?). With the ears and the way her face thins out below her chunky cheeks, I have to admit, she does show some similarities to Yoda. Poor girl.

Hopefully that look doesn't stick around too long...or she'll have a tough go of it through middle school. We probably can worry about that later though.

Happy Fall, everyone....until next time, be well!

WHAT a weekend!

This past weekend was a big one for Lindsay -- what I'm sure will be the first of many, she went to her first college party! Not technically, I suppose -- there wasn't a keg or any togas involved -- but it was a party and we were on campus. Uncle Ryan and I took Lindsay down to the opening of The Bank -- the Gopher's fancy new stadium. To help her fit in a little better, I decided to put her in her tye-dye shirt -- all the hippies loved her!

Along with everyone else, we were VERY impressed with the new home of the Gophers.

Quite the day! We got to campus around 4:00 and didn't get back home until 11:30 -- namely because Uncle Ryan and I got lost on the campus looking for our car.

Sunday was the season opener for our beloved Vikings, so we had Aunt Lindsay and Uncle Jeremy over...and Evan, of course. They were nice enough to let us borrow Evan's chair and Lindsay has fallen in love with it! This is her watching football that afternoon...she is so chill in it. Like she's been doing it all her life!

Then, of course, Sunday night were the VMA's on MTV! In case anyone was wondering, yes, I do still watch MTV. And I love, love, love the VMA's. So, Lindsay and I watched them together. Like everyone else that watched, she had quite the range of emotions. This is her during Michael Jackson's tribute (the dance portion, not dumb Madonna's speech):

She's a big fan of Michael. Afterall, I love him and the two of them are undeniably linked -- she was born on the day of his funeral. That was the first thing she watched on TV with me. Of course, the good vibes were quickly ruined by Kanye and his jackassy ways -- she just couldn't believe what was happening:

And just in case anybody was doubting exactly how weird Lady Gaga could be, she reminded us repeatedly throughout the broadcast. Lindsay certainly was not impressed with the wardrobe changes and disturbing freakshow she put on:

And lastly, maybe she was just tired from a long weekend, but I like to think this shows how unimpressed she is with Russell Brand's humor: